Friday, June 20, 2003

 

Belmont

(The Belmont Inn, a bar in an old hotel. The hotel was long ago converted into apartments, but the bar has remained open. It was once intimate and sophisticated. Arches and crumbing plaster reliefs are the clues to the bar’s former elegance.

JOBE sits at a small back table, nursing a pint. SEAN enters, carrying a bottle.)

SEAN
I knew you’d be back here.

JOBE
Fuck off, you mind reader.
(SEAN puts his hands to his head.)

SEAN
Hold on, I’m getting a picture here...you’re thinking about what to get Laura for Christmas.

JOBE
Fuck off.
(SEAN sits at another table, near JOBE.)
I was having a good dream, until you came in here.

SEAN
You were sleeping?

JOBE
No, dumbass. It was like a daydream.

SEAN
Oh. What about?

JOBE
About being rich.

SEAN
Awesome. How’d you make your money?

JOBE
I don’t know, that’s not what you dream about being rich for.

SEAN
Maybe you’re a famous ball player, or like you invented something for the Internet.

JOBE
I don’t want a job in my daydream.

SEAN
Fine, you inherited the money.

JOBE
Yeah, I inherited the money. I’m totally a wealthy heir.

SEAN
Your family made its money in oil.

JOBE
Fuck that. (Beat.) Makeup.

SEAN
Makeup?

JOBE
Lipstick and stuff.

SEAN
Oh, cosmetics. Sounds gay to me.

JOBE
No, ‘cause I get to meet all kinds of models that use our makeup.

SEAN
Cool.

JOBE
Yeah, and I’m rich.

SEAN
Very cool.

JOBE
And I’m bangin’ all of the models.

SEAN
Awesome. Of course, they’re gonna be tryin’ to get their claws into you.

JOBE
No way, man, no way.

MORE...

June 19, 2003: Max Factor heir returns to face prison term

posted by Dan 3:08 PM
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Thursday, June 19, 2003

 

Sorry about the time between posts. I've been finishing a play. Next time, I'll put up a message if I'm going to go weeks without blogging.

The Front Page Reloaded, Pt II

For Pt 1., click here

(A spotlight on BLOOM. He’s a pudgy man in his forties.)

BLOOM
As the publisher of a major metropolitan high-school newspaper, I believe journalistic integrity to be of penultimate importance. Second most important is mastery of the English Language.

(BLOOM’s classroom. MAURY sits in a chair, defiant. BLOOM looks through a take-out menu.),

MAURY
I didn’t want to do just another cafeteria review. I wanted -- you know -- to really evoke the truth of the cafeteria. There’s the factual truth, and then there’s the poetic truth.

BLOOM
I see. In this case, the factual truth was that Sloppy Joes are served on Fridays, and the poetic truth is that the meat is made from discarded tumors.

MAURY
Exactly.

BLOOM
But the problem is, it really isn’t true.

MAURY
Ah, it’s not factually true.

BLOOM
And the people who ate the Sloppy Joes took it to be so.

MAURY
I can’t be held responsible for what a bunch of rubes from West Virginia think.

BLOOM
You know, they have excellent fishing there.

MAURY
Okay, Paw. Go shuck the crawdads. I was just trying to describe the fading way of life that is the cafeteria.

BLOOM
I don’t think it’s -

MAURY
“The sun sets over the half-pints of chocolate milk. The hairnet is going the way of the beanie and the stevedore.”

BLOOM
Yeah, and which way is that?

MAURY
You know, Telemundo.

MORE...

June 13th, 2003: NY Times Claims More Blair Fraud, 11 stories involve plagiarism or errors

posted by Dan 1:26 PM
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