Venal Scene

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Meme-Beamed

The mysterious e. hunter spreen has whacked me with Laura Axelrod's sinister invention, "5/5".

1. Name your area of expertise/interest

Right now? The chunk of �Nips� brand dulce de leche candy that has fused itself to my upper right molars. Ha! You thought I was going to say �playwriting� didn�t you?! HA! STUPID FOOLS! If there�s one thing I�m not an expert in, it�s that. This candy stuck in my teeth, though, I am intensely interested in.

2. How did you become interested in it?

One of my coworkers planted a bag of the stuff near the file cabinets, because she has a hatred of molars/passion for incisors, or maybe she wants to see how long before I go after the STUPID CARAMEL with my fingers, or perhaps she hopes to get hold of my fillings and prospect for gold.

3. How did you learn how to do it?

You don�t learn this. Like great art, it only can come from an experience of profound fucking suffering.

My tongue is learning how to twist itself into all sorts of new positions in a vain campaign to pry this candy loose. Maybe I will be a better deep-kisser for this experience. They say the tongue is the strongest muscle, but it is apparently not strong enough to dislodge this piece of GODDAMN GORILLA GLUE disguised as a tempting sweet.

4. Who has been your biggest influence?

Dr. Drill N� Fill.

5. What would you teach people about it?

Lesson Plan � Caramel Stuck in Your Teeth 202 � D. Trujillo, instructor

Week 1: Review syllabus, develop objectives for semester

Week 2: Investigative reading: Barbara Tuchman, Howard Zinn

Week 3: First essay due

Week 4: Guest lecturer (TBA)

Week 5: GAAAAAA GET THIS OUT OF MY FUCKING�GAAAAGHH! MOTHER OF�GAAAAAARRRGH THAT�S A BASTARDY FUCKING NERVE ENDING GARKGJOPL

Let�s see, who to tag...Sherri, Kronda, Adam, Meron, and Sarah.
Labels: health, meme tags, true confessions

posted by Dan 6:05 PM
|